my mind is gone, i'm spinnin' round

i don't even know how to start what i have to say; i've just spent the weekend with my mum & one of my best friends from home- it was lovely to see them. just what i needed. a cuddle from my mummy. i'm welling up writing this; because they left about an hour ago, & i miss them ridiculous amounts already. i want my mum to come back & just sit with me & give me a cuddle. i'm sad that they've left, really sad that i stood at the roadside & waved my mum off; but it feels like a normal sad. i don't feel like i want to die for the first time in over a week. i FEEL today, which most of the time i don't think i do. i THINK i can name my emotion but i don't FEEL anything. i feel somewhat content that i've seen them but the amount i miss my mum is unmeasurable.

three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks.
three weeks. .

three weeks is how long i have till i'm home & i'm craving my family, i'm craving cuddles & feeling loved, & being somewhere i know when my head is somewhere i don't. if that makes sense. . .idk.






ANYWAY, i've just caught up on everyone's blogs from the weekend & such. they're all so positive & lovely :) it makes me smile :) i like it when my friends are happy, & upbeat.
they've made me feel better today, it litterally feels like my heart has been lifted & it feels really really nice. i don't want to jinx it, BUT IT DOES.

so, i have no emo, moany shit to rant today. today i'm just letting myself 'be' & i'm letting myself cry cause i miss my mum, but it's okay. i also told my mum i love her- which is a massive thing for me (it sounds ridiculously stupid, but i have an intense, irrational fear of admitting i love people, to their face).


I LOVE MY MUMMA PENNY.
<3

this a really, really old picture of my mummy & i, but it's the only one i have :)