i'm heading back down south tomorrow; back home where things are unchanged. everything is the same, except me. i feel different & i don't know in what way. i was thinking about my dad earlier, about how he's waiting for his transplant etc- it worried me. i know this sounds normal, you're meant to worry about your family in situations like this, but i spent so so long hating & resenting my dad, that it's surreal to me to feel any sort of compassion of upset for him. my nan had the same illness that my dad has; an illness which broke my nan down & eventually caused her to die. it's just a strange feeling to know that this COULD kill my dad. i know it probably won't, but it could & urgh. i just don't know.
i'm feeling a little down today, but nothing i can't handle. i'm obsessed with this song at the moment ^
i'm going for a meal with the girls from uni in a little while- one of them is changing unis so i feel obliged to go. no, i don't feel obliged- i WANT to go, it will be uncomfortable but i want to go, i want to say my goodbyes & enjoy the time with my friends. surely i'm allowed that.
last night a was told i need to loose 2lbs, haha. "no babes, it was a joke- you're sound & you have a great figure. i didn't mean it."
think about your 'jokes' before you open your mouth. 2lbs would just be the start. i need to get all this off me before i go away in the summer.
people who make jokes like that don't deserve listened too. but thats impossible.
ReplyDeletei hope all goes ok with your dad. x