i am so tired, it's unreal. i've not had a day off of work for almost 2 weeks & many of those days have been 11 hour shifts. it's ridiculous but has gone smoothly; time has flown by. i go travelling in 3 weeks- crazy. i'm really not ready, not prepared for what is ahead of me. i'm scared, & i've not been scared in a long time.
i've been eating, not normally, but ermm. . .more regularly recently & it's made me doubt every appointment & assesment i've ever had. i know that sounds silly. if anyone else said it, i'd tell them they were wrong & a few weeks of regular eating doesn't mean they are cured. but i feel like i'm cheating & it's pulling me down. i'm sure it's the fluoxetine that make me eat more. in my head, for me, fluoxetine makes me fat. i don't know if i want to keep taking it. i can't go away for six weeks feeling so disgusting.
i'm getting that anxious feeling building up. i feel like i need to throw myself on the floor, just to release this feeling.
isetrhgdt urgh. i don't know.
i'm not happy, at all, & i'm expanding at a ridiculous rate. maybe stopping the meds for a while will help. urgh.
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